perfectantidote: (expectant)
Castiel ([personal profile] perfectantidote) wrote in [personal profile] heraldingangel 2020-10-17 05:41 pm (UTC)

[ That just... doesn't feel like it should be true. Like it could be true. And yet...

There is no me and Dean.

And all Cas can think is... Yeah... same.

For a moment he sits there, in Dean's house, and stares into the dark of it, eveloped in incense and a sadness so bone deep it's festered into bitterness long ago. Two of the very few human emotions he's learned to identify and name, lost in a swirl of so many more that overwhelm him whenever he doesn't numb himself to them.

They were never made for this, for any of this. ]


But it's Dean.

[ Dean who can hardly look at Cas, and when he does it's with anger.

Dean who patched him up and couldn't hold back tears because he'd sent Cas to his death, and Cas had gone to do as requested. ]


He matters to us.

[ Doesn't he? Besides... ]

I don't understand. I'm the hapless and hopeless one - not you.

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