[ Huh. Where he wants to go? Cas is impressed. Didn't think there'd be versions of his own existence where that still mattered. After all... he'd gained his freedom only to voluntarily put on the yoke of Dean's command. And where Dean points, Cas goes. ]
and where would that be?
[ What does he want, this version of himself that didn't break, didn't debase himself, didn't become something Dean could barely stand to look at anymore?
Something is coiled tight in Cas' chest, thrumming. He can't quite name it, the sensation, and digs his fingers into the frayed edges of his jeans instead to rear his mind to things it can parse better than the feelings that threaten to drown him in blackened sludge.
If he leaves the statement of his lack of death untouched, well, that is entirely on purpose. He does think, though, in the depth of his mind and the corners of his empty smile: And isn't that just such a shame. ]
cw: suicidal ideation
and where would that be?
[ What does he want, this version of himself that didn't break, didn't debase himself, didn't become something Dean could barely stand to look at anymore?
Something is coiled tight in Cas' chest, thrumming. He can't quite name it, the sensation, and digs his fingers into the frayed edges of his jeans instead to rear his mind to things it can parse better than the feelings that threaten to drown him in blackened sludge.
If he leaves the statement of his lack of death untouched, well, that is entirely on purpose. He does think, though, in the depth of his mind and the corners of his empty smile: And isn't that just such a shame. ]