heraldingangel | Inbox for deerington

I don't know. I'm not sure what I can do.

[...other than hurt people, that is.

but! on the topic of prayers, jack then puts his phone down a moment so he can stare up at the ceiling and say a quiet-]

"...Castiel?"

[ The wind carries his name and he lifts his head up to the sky, black wings shifting behind him, wanting to spread out and take flight. But they stay in place, his grace too low to carry him. ]

I can hear you, Jack.

[ He types instead, answering his prayer in the only way left to him. Direct flight is out of the question and after the incident with the other Castiel, he's afraid of initiating that mode of communication when he knows his true voice can be devastating to others. ]

Edited 2020-11-21 20:00 (UTC)

[it worked. as much as he wants to continue though, jack turns his attention back to his phone again, typing out his response]

I won't take advantage of that. I promise.

When you come over, will you teach me how to hear you too?

[ Hear him too? Does he... ]

You mean what Dean calls Angel Radio?

Is that what it is?

[he can remember hearing all that sound at once. the pain that accompanied it]

Is that what you hear when people pray to you? Does it hurt you too?

No. Prayer is [ how should he put it ] a soul seeking Heaven. It isn't supposed to hurt. Angels were made to hear them. Though, it can be overwhelming if you don't know how to sift through the billions of echoes.

I don't know what it is then. Sometimes it just gets really loud. And it hurts.

Prayers seem nice. I think I'd prefer to hear them.

[ Rereading the message only deepens his confusion. ]

You hear loud voices?

[ That doesn't sound like prayers... ]

What do they want?

It was back home. Not here. There was a lot of noise. But I don't know if they were voices or not. It just hurt to hear.

I didn't like it. That's why I want to hear prayers instead. I just want to be able to hear you and Sam.

[ His grip on the device goes slightly tight. ]

Jack. Those were angels. You were hearing angels.

[ And that answers his question. Now, he's glad he was cautious and didn't try to contact him in the same manner. ]

Perhaps your human side makes you susceptible to our true voice.

I don't like it. But if there's a way to use it to help Sam and Dean, I want to learn to use it too.

Jack. You can't learn how to use it. It's something you either can or can't do. Exposing yourself to the true voice of an angel can kill you. It's why we use vessels, so we can communicate without hurting the ones we want to speak to. It's why I'm in this form. Dean couldn't hear me as I am even when I tempered my powers it still seemed to hurt him.

But I don't know what I can and can't do. I know I have powers, and I want to learn to use them. But I don't know what they are.

When you're feeling better, will you show me?

[ Angels were made at full maturity. There was no need to teach them. Anything they needed to know was preprogrammed and they all knew what was expected them. To see Jack struggle with this is odd to him, but it's something he has no problem taking on. ]

Of course. I'll help you with whatever you need, Jack.

I think that, right now, I just want you to be here.

[it's not an attempt to rush him along. rather, it's just a simple fact. the one thing he wants more than anything else is to get to spend time with castiel. whatever form that takes]

[ An odd statement and one he's not yet capable of understanding. Still, it catches his attention. Draws his brows dows as he turns it over in his head blind to the truth staring him in the face. ]

However long you need me, I'm here.

You're my father. I'm always going to want you with me.

[which is yet another reason why he hates the fact that castiel wasn't there when he was born. another loss, courtesy of lucifer]

[ Surprise flickers across his face at the blatant statement and his grip tightens on the Fluid as a rush of feelings crash down on him all at once. Father?! He swallows, throat tight with emotion he doesn't understand. It builds beneath his chest fast and aching, joy and fear mixed together so tightly they meld into an aching feeling that pierces straight through him leaving him breathless and a little overwhelmed. ]

I [ with his heart racing behind his ribs he finally answers ] didn't know.

Edited 2020-12-03 02:45 (UTC)

I never got to meet you at home. So of course I do.

Jack.

[ He says aloud, unable to keep quiet when he's overflowing with emotions angels were never meant to experience. Yet, they run through him, strong and true, spurred on by a being that was never meant to exist. ]

I'm sorry I wasn't there.

Edited 2020-12-05 02:25 (UTC)

No. The only reason you weren't there is because you died protecting my mom when I was born.

That wasn't your fault. That was Lucifer's.

[and his. but jack's already been admonished for thinking that way by sam. he doesn't want to drag castiel in to that too]

[ All those feelings come crashing down at the mention of his brother. ]

Lucifer?

Lucifer's locked in the cage with Michael.

I don't know about a cage. And I've never met Michael.

But Lucifer was on earth. That's how I was made.

[ How he was made?

.... A sinking feeling settles at the pit of his stomach. ]

What does Lucifer have to do with you?

He's my father.

But not like you. I'm not his son.

Inbox for deerington

brb claiming another bedroom for more family times

the bees claimed the gun rage for the winter, Jack can take anything else!

he'll take a storage cupboard if it means getting to stay with cas okay

no! jack gets his old room and anything else he wants!

daily cas hugs and he's set for life

how about one per week until they stop overwhelming him :|

only if they're a 20 second minimum

Deal!

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